i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
