Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize