I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
