I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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