all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
