And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
