Your mouth is God's brothel.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
