He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
