do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
