I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
