I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
