Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
