Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
