Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
