what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You ruined the universe
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
