The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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