In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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