Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
