I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
