My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
