Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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