Nicole vs. Life
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
