Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
