i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
