I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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