Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
