too bad you live with your parents still
I just cut my nipple shaving
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
