ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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