i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You were trust falling into bushes
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
