doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
