we have officially lost it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize