Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize