Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
