You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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