Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
