It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
