Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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