After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize