I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
