Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
