Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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