Nicole vs. Life
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
