maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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