how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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