Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There's even glitter on my cock...
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