Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
