Christians are straight up FREAKS
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This baby is an asshole
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I had to cum in my sink.
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