DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
