the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
