I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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