Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Four minutes until I can fart!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
