Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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