why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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