i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think i scared a bird with my dick
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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